Live right now, and be yourself

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 01:13:09 GMT

Hmm... I told myself I would journal everyday...
It's Wednesday, hump day, maybe that's why my day is so uneventful.
I did cook stir fry today, it was delicious! I want to cook more often

I didn't work today, got some homework done and read more of Aaron's book.
I'm going to get coffee with Brandon soon, that should be nice! Other than that
not too much going on!

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 22:46:18 GMT

My apartment's HOT water was supposed to be shut off from 9am-3pm. Well, the water was on when I left for school around 10, but since I've been home all water is shut off. The AC runs on water, I've basically had to AC on all day and it is hotter than hell in here.

The other part time girl at Things Remembered, Carrissa, quit today. So, I have to fill in from 430-930pm. I wasn't mentally prepared for work, but I am glad for the additional 5 hours and besides, there is no water and it's hot in here. So, I'll be heading there soon!

Nothing exciting today.

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 19:33:33 GMT

Alright, so, I've decided I want to try and journal every day... even if I have nothing particularly exciting to mention. I always wish I had written about more of the good times I had because when I look back on my past journal entries many of them originate from my sadness or frustration.

I feel like I should recap summer, but I am not feeling like typing that all out right now.

Last night Aaron came by, he claims my next door neighbor, Chris (who has a girlfriend) is into me and he's come to this conclusion based up Chris' mannerisms. I don't know, I mean... he has a girlfriend, right? Chris is a nice guy, works, has his own place and is in school but he's a stoner and also takes morphine. The drug use is a big turn off, and besides that I only find him somewhat attractive, he's cute, but not really someone I "want". Oh, yes, and of course the fact that he has a girlfriend. Thinking someone has a thing for me regardless is flattering.

I have to catch up on my reading in Aaron's book, which is surprisingly good so far. I am impressed. Then I have to work today.

True Blood

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 08:38:51 GMT

Season 2 episode 3.

Is that woman the pig?? She showed up after andy saw the pig at the party... and there was a pig when tara crashed her car!! Goddess of love? everyone hooks up when she is around...

Thing that attacked sookie may be a minotaur?

Daphanie... scratches on her back! Dog scared of her??

AAHH. I wish I could watch this with Kelly every Sunday. I hate watching it alone. I need someone to talk to about it!!!

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 01:49:19 GMT

So, last night Mary and I crashed a party in her neighborhood, Sarah's next door neighbors actually! I had so much fun, I've always wanted to crash a party and I finally did =] No one asked who we were or looked at us weird or anything. I took like 3 and 1/2 shots of vodka. The only thing that sucked is all the guys were like douches wearing Ed Hardy and all the girls were really fake and skanky. Oh the dancing we saw! This chick and this guy may as well have been naked filming it and making a porno haha. I had to document this =] I can't wait to crash another party!!

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 01:37:59 GMT

I realized that I have a problem letting go of the past. I thought today, "I should delete my myspace" then I thought, I can't bring myself to do it. I have too many memories on there, like messages and photo comments. I was afraid of losing all my documentation of my past...
I wish I could just "let go" but its always been so hard for me...I want to let go of my past and I wish I didn't care...

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 09:09:40 GMT

I'm so tired, but I want to post this because I had a great time today =]
Ashlee and Jeff snuck me into the McDowell Mountain Music Festival haha it was awesome, we saw Matisyahu and hung out in Jeffs car lol. Good times. Kelly and her family were there but I didn't see them for more than a few minutes. After the festival we all went to Macayos for Samples' birthday. I got a free margerita without being carded- totally awesome!! Then we went back to Ross and Andy's but I had an allergy attack so we left around 1.

Yep, that was my day & it was great =]

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 00:06:01 GMT

Francis and I went to club afterlife last night, it used to be called e4 and its not 18+ and called club afterlife. It was pretty fun. It didn't really get very good until around 2am. We danced with a few guys, hah. It was pretty cool, just kind of dead. I guess they just opened last week so maybe it will get better =] We might go back sometime soon

I took out the art stuff today, I needed some markers. I have all of Robs art supplies and and sketch books still. Awhile ago he said I could keep the art stuff...so... I will! Haha. It was crazy looking at all his sketches. I remember the ones he did when we first met...

So, for tonight I'm either going dancing with Francis and some of her friends, or a party with Stevey, or whatever else we find to do! =] I didn't end up going to the McDowell Music Festival with Kelly, Ashlee and Jeff because they were going to be in the 'beer garden" which I couldn't get into. Gosh, being 19 is a drag sometimes! I wouldn't even want to drink beer, I just wanted to get in!! I can't wait to be 21, or maybe I will find a fake ID lol. Oh yeah, I'm dropping by Macayos for Samples birthday get together.

Other than that I have to write an english paper and get some accounting home work done this weekend. I gotta work on certificates for the kids at work right now.

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 22:38:30 GMT

I had a lot of fun last night! Francis and I went to In-n-Out burger and I ate dinner, then we went to Mojo on Mill Ave for some frozen yogurt. We ran into Travis and one of his friends there. After Mojo we went on a night hike up A mountain. The city looked so awesome from up there at night. Travis and his friend were both pretty cool. Maybe we will hang out and I can make some new friends =] I also got some really good shisha last night mmm =]

This week has been pretty good. I can't wait to get paid tomorrow and go shopping!
I have a ton of homework today... so I better get started on that!

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 20:12:33 GMT

On my way to class today I saw a guy that looked like Jared Leto
Anyway, I'm just waiting for Statistics to start... Nothing too exciting today. Had another dream with him in it, except this time we weren't back together... so that's good right? It is so hard for me get my head out of the past. I just think about him like everyday. I don't think about us getting back together or anything like that. I just find my mind wandering to how things used to be. I can't say I am totally unhappy right now either, I'm actually okay. I just have to take things one day at a time and see where life leads me!

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I saw Daniel today, he's back from Ecuador and he got me this really cool snake skin bracelet =] We watched Role Models it was so funny. So, I'm thinking about going to the McDowell Mountain Music Festival this Saturday, Ashlee and Kelly are going, and my friend Stevey was thinking about going, haha. Tickets are kind of expensive... but I want to go!!

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 04:03:42 GMT

My small accomplishment today is that I am in my room doing homework right now! That sounds nuts, but, I haven't felt comfortable being alone in my room for awhile now, but tonight I decided I wanted to stay in my room and do homework and that I didn't need to be in the kitchen or somewhere closer to my mom, so I don't feel anxiety of being closed up alone in my room.

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:56:19 GMT

So, nothing exciting yet. Didn't go to class today, I was feeling lazy and just down in general. I finished some of my homework that I stayed home to do... I have to seriously finish it tonight.

I just feel sort of lost since we broke up. I'm finding it hard to focus on myself and I still miss him. I wish I didn't, I hate feeling so weak, I hate being the only one who still cares. I've also been feeling like I need to meet someone new, but maybe that's just something I think I need to do, because on the other hand I just want to be alone for awhile. I need to really deal with what has happened and I really want to learn how to be more independent- in the sense that I don't need be around another person all of the time to be happy. But I just hate sitting around by myself. I usually feel that way, but I remember when I was single and in a good place I used to just sit around the house by myself watching TV, surfing the web, painting my nails and I had a great time. I just want to get back to that place where I feel okay about being alone. I still miss the togetherness of a relationship.

Don't want to go to work today, but I have to. I think, including today, we only have 5 work days left so... I shouldn't be complaining. I need to find a job this summer too. I don't know where though. I have considered bartending- I used to always think "when I turn 19 I'm going to get a bartending job!" I think it would be a good summer job.

I don't know....

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 07:55:30 GMT

I'm ditching class tomorrow so I can stay home and do homework that I failed to do this weekend, not because I stayed out all night partying, or because I want to be lazy, or have something cool to do. I'm being a bad student and a good student at the same time. So, this is like the first journal entry that hasn't been set on private. I usually only journal when I am having serious problems and when I get things off my mind I just let the words flow, unedited and unorganized and I am afraid I sound like a pathetic emotional wreck with terrible grammar- so I keep those on private- even though I don't have any friends on here anyway, hah.

I think I am going to try and journal everyday, and not just when I am upset. I want to document the joys I experience so when I look back through my journal it is not simply a collection of my moments of sadness, pain and frustration.

From now on I am going to focus on me and what makes me happy. I spend far too much time trying to please everyone else or just simply focusing my energies on lost causes. I want to learn how to really enjoy spending time by myself- to forget about the world. Forget about myspace, facebook, my cell phone, everybody else. I have anxieties about not having my phone because someone MIGHT call me and I could miss it- and of course it would be someone whom I haven't talked to in ages, someone I didn't even know had my phone number. I suppose that's what voicemail is for right?

Ok, I'm rambling, and tired.

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 03:05:38 GMT

I wrote most of this and my friend added the last few

About girls [It seems a lot of you don't understand them]

Here are a few things to keep in mind:

-If she says something like "Whatever" "Nevermind" "It doesn't matter" Something is probably wrong and she wants you to ask her what it is

- In the case you have done something wrong-- make it up to her

-If she asks you to call her, its because she WANTS you to call her, so call.

- Sometimes its the little things that really matter (like holding the door open, its courteous and she'll remember it)

-Treat your friends that are girls, as good as you would treat your girlfriend [especially if you are thinking about her as more than a friend]

-After shes asked you a few times to do something, like call her... you should probably start doing it without her asking

-If you have to cancel the plans you have with her, call her or get ahold of her somehow and let her know as soon as you can. Its just rude and incosiderate not to, and she was probably still waiting.

- If you think something is wrong, at least TRY and figure it out, it will be appriacted as long as you dont say something completely rediculous

As said in a drunken state "Everybody is interested in not sleeping alone at night" (not by me)

-Don't be afraid to hold her hand or kiss her if shes already done it once, guys were made to make the first move, not women, don't leave it up to her

-if at any moment you think she looks beautiful, TELL HER

-don't assume that she thinks she looks good, she needs to hear it, or she won't believe it. - don't say hot or sexy, beautiful and pretty and breathtaking are just fine.

-surprize her, you wont understand how much she'll love you for it

-if you are alone with her, and its a romantic setting, kiss her sweetly, she'll never forget it
*Girls or guys if you agree, repost thing and if theres anything else you'd like to add go ahead*

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 04:55:06 GMT

Hmm haven't written in a while. I've just been busy with school and homework. Nothing real exciting. Last weekend Anne, Sarah and I went to see Red Eye, it was really good, then we walked around Mill. We had such a blast. I have a freaking cold, which sucks. Carrie and I are in a huge fight and pic day is tomorrow! Hmm I guess that's about it.

♥

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 01:10:06 GMT

Saturday...yes... the first week of school is over! It lasted forever&ever. It wasn't too bad except, I hate getting up so damn early, and I had homework everyday which just plain sucked. Yeah. I saw Wedding Crashers last night.. that movie is so funny! I saw Ms Siv. at the mall. Scary! and Phil... hah. Yesterday was freaking hilarious in bio... haha Lies'l and I couldn't stop laughing. Good times... well Im going to hang out with Carrie. I'll post again later

♥

Sun, 19 Jun 2005 21:21:27 GMT

So, it's Father's Day... and my dad's at work anyway. Today is one of those lazy days where you do nothing... so that's what I'm up to... setting here bored and listening to my mini Ipod, oh heck yes! I guess that's it...

♥

Sun, 19 Jun 2005 02:58:20 GMT

I'm like on the brink of exhaustion! I'm actually glad to be at home for once, I've been gone like 26 hours! So, yesterday I saw The Perfect Man with Melissa and Carrie, it was alright, but again a certain someone wasn't there *tear tear* hah. Umm... then Nichole tells me shes moving tomorrow(which is today now) I wish she had told me sooner, but I'm really glad I got to see her before she left!

I'M GONNA MISS HER SO MUCH!
Then after that I spent the night with my love, Carrie. And then we went to Fiesta to get her dad a fathers day present, and about the time we're ready to leave her dad drops off her little 4 year old brother Michael and doesn't tell us when he'll be back. So we took him to the play area for like 45minutes and then decided to go walk across the street to where here dad was supposed to be and get him... but of course he wasn't there. Then he called my cell phone which was pretty much dead and said that he wanted my mom to take Carrie and her brother home. Carrie wanted to come over, but he said no... so thats basically what I've been doing.

♥

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 08:07:48 GMT

Mon, 30 Aug 2004 01:00:46 GMT

It's Sunday. I spent the last 2 days with Carrie! But I have like a cold it sucks :[ Ok, I went to her house on Friday, I found out her friend and his friends Michael and Christian were assholes. Then she came over Saturday and we got ready to go to the mall. Carrie got like all decked out in fishnets, knee high boots and black skirt and a black shirt. I just wore my jeans, a black shirt and he black skater shoes. Then we went and picked up Britney and we all went to the Chandler mall. We took the handcuffs too haha. So we got to the mall and Britney met up with this girl she knew, who was with some guy. Ok, this girl was like 16 and the guy was 21 and had just moved here from CA. I found it kinda of weird, but idk. So then we went around the mall and stuff, and the girl like disappeared so it was Britney, Carrie, this guy and me. We were in Spencers then Britney left and I followed her and Carrie and the guy were still in there. Haha Britney and I decided to race up the down escalator, well I got all the way to the top step and fell down, then Britney did too haha. Like a ton of people saw us but we were just laughing it was funny. Then we went to go spanging. Well, we never got any money. Then Britney wanted to pick up this guy Dustin she knows. So she like begged the 21 year old guy to take her to pick up Dustin, well this guy is new to AZ and doesn't really know his way around and Dustin lived like 17miles away. So they left to get him at like 7:40 and then they got lost and didn't get back to the mall until like 9:15. In the meantime of them being gone Carrie and I met up with her friend Marc. I finally got to meet him, he's so funny. There was this person, we couldn't tell if they were a girl or guy and Marcs like "girl, guy, girl... the person is an 'it'" haha then hes all "if it has boobs, its a girl" and I was like yeah go up and be like "can I feel your chest." Haha yeah, it was fun. Then we were messing around with the handcuffs and Marc wanted me to handcuff him, so I did, then his parents were coming and hes like "OMG! Unhnadcuff me! NOW! They're comming!" and I'm like trying to open them and it was like taking forever and he was like freaking out haha. So then he had to go see a movie with his family and he leaves. And Carrie just looks at her hand and he had left his cell phone with her haha. We used it a couple times then someone called, and we thought it was britney cuz the first 3 numbers were the same, so she picks it up and it's Marc. Haha so then she hangs up and I was like let me see it and I dropped it haha. Then Marc came out to get it, and I was like I dropped your phone :-D Ok so, then I found out the guy I met last weekend, his name is RJ. Well, he got back together with his gf, Fluffy(Donna) whos a fugly slut, and everyone knows it. Ok then they broke up. And the rest of the night she was all over evryone. So Carrie and I were on the steps and we met this girl Chelsea, she's really cool. Well, it turns out Fluffy had sex with this girls boyfriend, and he was a virgin at the time. So, yeah Chelsea REALLY hates fluffy, but no one really likes her because everyone knows shes a whore. So, yeah, then Britney and the guy came back like 2 hours later, and we pretty much left. It was pretty fun, except I was sick the whole time, and had no money and I was dying for a drink. Don't eat at Chipotles they should die there. Haha. That was my weekend, now I gotta write a speech. ♥ Ashley